Bride with nothing to hide?

My wedding industry client wants me to research some alternative weddings for a new area of wedding content. I'd link to it, but then you might find out who I am so I'll let the suspense linger some more.

Anyway, Elvish Weddings are done, so where do you go from there? Aha! Look what the wonderful internet showed me today: nude weddings.

From one extreme to the other - from gorgeous flowing elvish gown and grand costumes to none at all, I love it!

You may have guessed that I'm very liberal. If people want to say their wedding vows in Elvish, good on them, if they want to say "I do" in scuba gear 100 feet underwater, (or rather sign it with that clever diving sign language) fair play and if they want to get married tackle out and with nipples galore, good luck to them.

My respect for these kind of people mostly stems from an appreciation of their sheer guts. Not in a million years could I have turned around to my Mum and said amidst the glossy bridal mags and cups of tea "Actually Mum, bollocks to all of this wedding dress malarky, I'm gonna walk down the aisle wearing nothing more than a smile."

I guess with this couple, they're nudists, or naturalists or whatever is the PC term for them, so it isn't an act of bravery for them, more an act of normality. (Don't get me started on normality.) I would insist on a long veil at the very least, just to get me through the long bits of the ceremony when I would know that everyone would be eying up my backside and its eclectic distribution of cellulite. At least it removes the "Will my bum look big in this?" factor. Yes, yes it will. And there will be many, many photos.

But maybe there is a bigger picture here (there'd have to be with my behind). Maybe this is also a backlash against the consumerist madness that has taken over weddings. What better way to reject this awful celebrity culture and designer label worship by saying "I'd rather let my guests see all the wobbly bits than be sucked into spending money I don't have."

Personally, I'd rather get a bank loan and the dress than let my guests see me in the nuddy. But hell, I can dream about the celebrity culture backlash - come on world, let's trash the celebrities instead of the wedding dresses!