A ring bearer that knows he's cool?

Okay, so now there is a new standard for wedding ring bearers – you need to have a pointy beak and feathers. And be a bird of prey.

I’m not kidding; today I saw a wedding news article about the wedding ring being dropped into the Groom’s hand at the appropriate moment by a trained Harris Hawk. Now, birds of prey know they’re cool, but having one as your ring bearer!? That’s added stress during the wedding ceremony that I could do without.

Apparently the poor Best Man had to command the bird to swoop down and drop the ring into the Groom’s hand - a pretty critical thing at a very specific time. But as anyone who has had any contact with small children and animals knows, they never do what you want, when you want them too. In this scenario, many potential cock ups come to mind. What if the Best Man gave the signal but no bird came? What if the little thing stayed up in the rafters, donning his mini designer sunglasses and didn’t come down till there was a good dead mouse there to tempt him?

What if it took a dump on Aunty Mildred’s Very Nice Wedding Hat, or landed on the Vicar’s head and started to peck? The font might have turned into the best birdbath in the world ever and that’s assuming the thing doesn’t just fly out of the door and off with that wedding ring never to be seen again. Blimey, obviously I’m just too much of a worrier to have feathered ring bearer. Give me a grumpy boy dressed as a sailor any day.